Since when did old and single equal creepy? Oh, wait...

Story #1:
Went to a new optometrist today. I was sitting in the chair contact-less (read: blind) and in walks the optometrist who I deem to be cute in a blurry sort of way (i.e., under 35, Southern accent, good smelling cologne.....what wasn't so blurry was the band of silver around his left ring finger) Anyway, as he's checking out my eyes he's making small talk and asks about my hobbies and then asks if I'm married to which I say, no I'm single. No joke, he then proceeds to scoot across the room on his rolly chair to crack open the door to the exam room. Then justifies it by saying that he needs some more air and that I should let him know if having the door open bothers me.

How's that for subtle???? We're fine in the semi-dark exam room until he realizes I'm single and then suddenly the room is stuffy. I know I couldn't have been eyeing him salaciously or anything similar because I couldn't focus on anything. Yet somehow I'm a pariah when it's discovered that I'm single? Weird question to be asking your patient anyway, buddy.

Story #2:
At FHE tonight my friend was playing a mix she titled "Junior High Dance" which was a smattering of hits that you would likely hear at said event over the years. So, a Christina Aguilera song comes on and a first year student asks me "What time does this remind you of? I deflect said loaded question and flipped it back on her (I am a therapist, you recall).

Her answer? "It reminds me of 6th grade."

My response: "Sixth grade? Holy crap! I was a junior in college when this song came out. I don't think we should play this game anymore."

The Dream Team

Finally had an opportunity to play Trivial Pursuit: 80s, 90s, and pop culture edition this weekend. I bought the 90s edition a few years back and only got to play that once with my friends. I mopped the floor with them on our first go round and no one has wanted to play with me since. An upside of having all your friends move away (the only upside I can see) is that a whole group of people were unaware of my mad skillz.

We split into two teams to make it go faster and I aligned myself with another friend who has idiot savant tendencies (like myself) who I've always wanted to pair up with and another friend who also has a store of pointless trivia knowledge.

We handily beat our components by five pie pieces. There were cries of us sweeping due to easy questions, but alas we are the dream team. There was a lot of smack talk going on throughout the game (honestly, none by me... I like it to be more of a sneak attack) and unfortunately, don't think this crew will be up for playing again...at least with this same team roster.

Here's a pic of the dream team (while it lasted) from disco roller skating a few weeks back.

Cowboys are my weakness.....

This weekend the rodeo was in town so I was finally able to follow through on White Trash Friday complete with dressing up! We actually had 8 people come out and six of them were game enough to dress up. Unfortunately, I didn't get a pic of everybody together, but there was a pretty good showing. One of my buddies wore a mullet wig, the other grew out his scruff for the week and showed up in a pearl snap (bestill my heart!). After heading to Cracker Barell for Fish Fry Friday we headed up to the rodeo. Now this is the third rodeo that I've been to in Lubbock and I think the best so far, maybe because I knew more what to expect. I'm still going out on a limb and claiming that mutton bustin' is my favorite event.

Here's my outfit from the rodeo. I was going more for trailer dweller who just won the lotto. Notice the denim on denim, horse shirt, dream catcher earrings, strappy gold sandals and blue eye shadow to boot. I even busted out Victoria Secret Body Spray (after winning the lotto a girl's gotta splurge somehow). Hotness! I was tempted to scratch off some of my toenail polish to complete the look, but didn't think that I could stand to look at my jacked up toes for the whole evening (I have a thing about immaculate pedicures.)

We had some good conversations while watching the Rodeo too. I decided that my event would probably be barrel racing and my theme song would be "Rock you like a hurricane" by the Scorpions. I asked the fellas what event they would like to participate in and we had one response of bronc riding and the other was calf roping. Which fit both of their personalities, you've got the bronc rider who's more wild and manly in a way and then the roper who's more about precision and agility. While my initial instinct is to be attracted to bull riders (c'mon how hot is that, he just rode a freaking bull!) I think I'm starting to lean towards ropers. A sign of maturity perhaps? :]

Regardless of event, I've come to realize there's just sumpin' 'bout them country boys. Friday night at the rodeo we also got to stick around for a concert by Jason Meadows (if you know him from anything it's probably his song "18 videotapes"). He was good in concert and his accent was so thick you could hardly make out what he was saying...and yet again I found it pretty stinking hot.

To finish off my weekend of all things country, the movie "8 Seconds" was on tv today. Makes the rodeo life look pretty enticing......

Plushie Prom

This is the third installment of my new series of "Awkward Prom Photo" re-enactments.

I call it "Plushie Prom".

~This amazing pastel dress/chiffon capelet combo was originally intended to be worn to a Barn Dance last summer so I could bust out the footloose dance. The others in my crew thought it was too hot that day (I also found Kevin Bacon's snazzy red coat for my friend) so alas, the outfit was banished to the costume closet....that is until tonight when I decided that it could be put to good use as an Easter Dress. Thank goodness for the costume closet! You never know when you might need to dress up like a sailor, Strawberry Shortcake, or a bare foot and pregnant trailer dweller. The list goes on and on...(I really need a new hobby).

For the curious, here are the first two.

This is the inspiration for it all, taken at this year's Neuropsychiatry Christmas Party,

"Country Club Prom".

And the second is from a group date I went on last week. I call it "Awkwardness Cubed"

Counterevidence

My theory that ice and a bendy straw makes everything taste better is in fact: FALSE!

I'm trying not to throw up in my mouth as I type. V-8 is sick no matter how you try to dress it up. Bendy straw and ice be darned!

Nectar of the Gods

Today on my trip to "happy hour" at the hospital cafeteria (which conveniently correlates with mine and my friend's casenote hour) I discovered the joy that is Grapefruit Juice. Can't really say that I've ever been a big fan, but I've been feeling under the weather recently and it called out to me from the refrigerator. I obliged and was amazed at it's deliciosity. Part of the appeal could have been the ice and bendy straw. What doesn't ice and a bendy straw make taste better though? I'm just sayin'......

Who knew emerging adulthood extended into your 30s?

So, I had an experience tonight that threw me for a loop. I was at a Church activity and had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was chatting with a friend and was suddenly rammed from behind. I turned around to find that I'd just been run into by a guy who was (for reasons unknown) running around while pushing a garbage can on wheels. After ramming me he continued on running his garbage can around. Ok, bizarre first of all, but as the shock was wearing off I realized that it had actually hurt quite a bit and in checking out my leg found that he'd taken a chunk out of the back my ankle. The person continued to run around like an idiot until my friend called him out on the fact that he had in fact crashed into me...at which point he did apologize, but really didn't seem to care all that much. To make matters even worse I would wager a bet that this person couldn't even tell you my name, despite the fact that we've been attending church together for at least the last two years. And this is the LDS Church we are talking about here people, this means: 3+ hours on Sunday and then at least 1-2 other activities each week, our group can't be more than 75 on a good day and I probably wouldn't even need all my fingers to count the number of times I've missed church during that time. Now, don't I feel special? But, I digress.....

He said he thought he had bandaids in his car and offered to get me one which I said would be nice. I limped to the bathroom (looking like a complete idiot) and once there couldn't get the cut to stop bleeding and at this point started to get really pissed off. When I came back out and someone asked how I was doing he made some crack about seeing if I needed stitches.

What the heck is wrong with this guy that he thinks it's ok to crash into someone and not apologize? And to run into a woman no less! And did I mention that he's like 30?!!!!! Something I'd expect from an 18 year old, but come on you're 30! Granted, I know he didn't mean to hurt me, but from my friend's report of it, the running into me part seemed to be pretty intentional (in order to earn a laugh I guess) and it wasn't as if he had somehow lost control of the garbage can and immediately apologized. (Seriously, how assanine does it sound that I was injured by a 30 year old trying to be funny by playing with a garbage can on wheels? You can't make this crap up people! Only in Lubbock I say)

I hate that situations like these are becoming the norm and not the exception. Another freaking reason I have to get the heck out of Lubbock. I guess at least it gave me something to blog about. How's that for a re-frame? :]