Cruise Critic: The list

	Please Sir, Can I have some more?!	Oh no he di’n’t!
12/19 We’re on a boat!	“Washy Washy! Happy Happy!” As they squirt you with hand sanitizer	“Freestyle” as a term
	Hildoug’s mad stamina after a red eye and early morning workout	Where do they keep the ice cream?
		Hard sells on everything!
	Captain Douchebag always auditioning for his next wingman	Where's the freaking clock? I’m on a “freestyle” schedule here, people!
	Bowel Movements as dinner conversation (repeated each day)
12/20 (@ sea)	World’s best euro mullet on one of the male dancers
	Cruise Director Andy
	Towel Animals!
12/21 (Roatan)	Awkward photo hunt and the discovery of my future boyfriend (Harvard alum) and his family photo	Social Stratification. White people building McMansions all over the island
	Lester’s description of “poo poo sand”
	Child-biting monkey
	Getting pooped on by a bird
	Hildoug and I almost falling out of the back of the tour van when the back door popped open going up a really steep hill
	Spotting a woman wearing a mini elf hat
	Mom proves that she has an uncanny ability to predict surprise downpours
12/22 (Belize City)	Jersey family Belikin Beer (Hildoug)	Cave tubing doesn’t really personify the culture
	Red beans and rice. Yum-o! I am the Cheetah Princess!	Bad Bryon – not very friendly, but earned some points from un-stranding me on the rocks and preventing me from getting clobbered by a tree while tubing.
	All you can eat sushi on the boat
12/23 (Costa Maya)	Lonely fist pumper at the swim up bar	A reggae band doing country
	People already wearing ports of call t-shirts	Souvenir guy dropping my Mayan calendar ornament and breaking it. Then finding out it was the only one left in the store. Incident ended with me way over-paying for broken Mayan calendar ornament.
	Second City Comedy Troup was pretty dang funny.
12/24 (@ Sea)	Awesome holiday variety show	X-mas buffet. Yuck-o!
	Multiple naps	Woman saving seats for her family to watch “The Christmast story” then leaving them empty for long periods of time. Then being rude and kicking people out of them when they sat down.
	Mr Pearl contest and watching the drunk cougar mauling the contestants
	Seeing our friend Oscar everywhere
	Andy’s reading of ‘Twas the night before Christmas’ (Hildoug, obvi)
12/25 (Key West)	Going on a walk	2 picture takers at the end of Route 1 taking a zillion pictures when people were waiting
	Seeing the Southernmost point of the US	Making friends (while bowling) at the end of the trip instead of the beginning
	Checking out the Bridge Viewing Room. Hot pseudo-captain. Not hot? Enclosed smoking	No key lime pie ornament to be found anywhere in Key West. Really?
		Missing my favorite Excursions director Federico
		My purse magnet and key card not getting along….again.

Where have you been?

Where haven't I been would probably be a better question. I've had a bunch of good blog ideas in my head over these past few months, but of course never got around to typing them out. I blame the unreliable internet, but more likely it has more to do with me being a bum. I've become a super slacker with my camera and therefore don't have any amazing pics to regale you with. Bad Stephanie!

Here's a quick recap of the past few months:

1) Rebel and her littlest monkey came for a visit. Cadence was a trooper and survived her first plane ride and a few time changes (hello daylight savings time!). My Mom pulled out the big guns and there were toys galore to keep her occupied while her Mommy and I caught up. Cadence dug our walk along the waterfront and had a blast going down the slide and playing on the swings at the dream park (shivering be darned!). I also learned a valuable lesson: Never share your yummy Starbucks drink with a 14 month old. Backwash is inevitable.

2) There was a trip out to Lubbock to hang out with my Harringtons. Einstein bagels opened in honor of my visit (how nice of them!). Needless to say there was a lot of good lounge time, TT & Kate play time, and visiting old haunts. Kate just about broke my heart on day one when she started saying, “TT, I miss you.”

3) A very So Cal Thanksgiving. I got to hang out with fam and experience my little bro as a college freshman (which makes me feel really, really old. It also doesn’t help that 2011 marks 10 years since I completed my undergrad. Ay chihuaha!). I got my fill of shopping and did my best to avoid the annoying flat iron salespeople. They are everywhere and are attracted to my curly head like flies to honey!

4) Miami Beach (pre and post-cruise).

~Our first hotel in South Beach was amazing. Great design and great location (Sense South Beach). On our first full day there we headed out to see the beach and get a lay of the land and proceeded to get rained on. I’ve never been so drenched in all my life! We took refuge in a Cuban restaurant and it was a great choice. It rained most of the day so we busted tail back to the hotel in between downpours (caught sight of the Metropole of Jersey Shore fame along the way) and then ended up indoors the rest of the day.

~Our hotel after the cruise was not so great (Red hotel). It was way north of everything and not in the best neighborhood. We got to the hotel before a room was available so made the most of the time by heading to Lincoln Road Mall and catching “Little Fockers”. I was on the hunt for Dash – Miami and Miami Ink (i.e. Love and Hate Tattoo), but didn’t run into either. (The brother was eager to get back to the hotel)

5) Caribbean Christmas Cruise (post to come)

6) New Years Eve in Portland. I made it home with enough time to do laundry and sleep in my own bed for two nights before roadtriping down to Portland to hang out with some of my high school girls. We had a low key NYE reliving old times and playing catch-up. We also watched a ridiculous amount of movies. My host Kara tried to sell me on moving there so pulled out all the stops in showing me the sights. We waited in line for an hour to experience Voodoo donuts (totally worth it) and she took me to a great breakfast spot called The Tin Shed before I made the trek back.

I was then glad to have some downtime and no impending scheduled trips. Yeah, that lasted for about two days before I started getting bored. There’s been lots of reading and a bit of tv watching to fill my time. :] And now, I’ve got another sojourn planned in SoCal starting next week. I’m looking forward to soaking up some sun, seeing lots of friends, shopping, and a little roadtrip up to the Central Valley where I’ll probably be forced to watch a lot of Prison Break and be made to dress like Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Wife. Needless to say, I can’t wait!

31 Candles

I've decided that my dirty 30s are going to be the decade of international birthday celebrations. This year's festivities involved a lot less travel than last year, but it still required a passport so I say it counts. My mom and I took a ferry over to Victoria, BC for a weekend getaway. We stayed at a nice hotel just off the water with a great view of the inner harbor (and they were running a dine and stay deal where they gave us money back to eat in the hotel. Score!) We had high tea the first day in the hotel and it was delicious! The best herbal peppermint tea I've ever had.

We spent the day wandering around town and checking out the old tourist haunts. We used to come here a lot when I was a teenager and it was funny how few things had really changed (although a lot of places had moved further away from the water, cheaper rent perhaps?) I was sad to see the Wax museum was closed while the building was being renovated. I can't even tell you how many times I'd been through that place.

(wax museum reflecting off the water, with our hotel in the background)

While Victoria is only separated from PA by 15 miles of water it is worlds apart in culture! We did our best to make the most of it. We did some shopping at the Bay (sort of like Dillards) and I scored some majorly cute, cheap finds. Our hotel also had a gym attached to it and we got to take a water aerobics class that was super fun. We also watched "It's kind of a funny story", which I thought was sweet (and starred Zach Galifinakis which didn't hurt either).

The weekend was full of delicious food. We had some yummy dim sum in our hotel after a trip to the spa (massage for mom, facial and reflexology for me). Other musts if you ever make it to Victoria: Reef for delicious Caribbean food and cheap virgin mojitos; Fiamo Italian Kitchen where I had squid ink pasta for the first time. Sounds nasty, but I'm a total fan.

The weather cooperated and it turned out to be a great, relaxing birthday trip. Thanks Mom for coming along and making it such a good time!

(Parliament Building all lit up)

Next year I'm thinking of a long weekend in Reykjavik. Who's coming with me?

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

The time has come to start putting together my Christmas cards! For me, this means an exhaustive search through iphoto to pick and choose the best photos from the past year (of me, obvi. There might be some great group photos, but if I don’t look good, it doesn’t make the cut). I’m also reflecting on the theme from my last year as well as any high points I want to share with my family and friends.

I know a lot of people are anti-Christmas letters, but I love them! It’s great to get updated on the happs in people’s lives (ok, Facebook might lower the surprise factor of the letters, but still, there’s no denying how exciting it is to get actual, personal mail.) I think there’s an art to the Christmas letter where you can share without sounding like a total braggart. It might be a fine line, but I’ll take my chances. I mean shouldn’t the people you are sending these cards to be rooting for you anyway? I love hearing about people’s successes (and seeing pictures of their super cute babies or puppies isn’t too bad either.) I don’t send them to my arch nemeses or anything, but hey, that might not be such a bad idea during one of my more stellar years! :]

The thought of Christmas cards also excites my inner stationery hoarder. I justify my stationery purchases with the knowledge that it at least serves the practical purpose of keeping in touch with people (that is if I don’t keep it to myself due it’s overwhelming cuteness). Well this year, I don’t even need to justify the expenditure b/c Shutterfly is hooking me up with some free holiday cards for blogging about them. Hallelujah!

Here are a few of the cards that I’m drooling over:

How cute is this? A great way to include the year’s highlights as part of the card’s design. I’m kind of wordy though, not sure I could keep it so short. We’ll keep looking.

Love 2010 Christmas Card

You know that I love me some sparkles! It might be a bit classier than I’m looking for this year, though.

Shimmer Sparkle Shine Christmas Card

In the words of Rachel Zoe, “I die.” I would give anything to have this be the appropriate choice for me next year!

Bright City Lights Christmas Card

What, you thought I’d give away my pick for the year? Hardly. The surprise if half the fun! Final decision coming to a mailbox near you in December.

If you blog and want in on Shutterfly’s deal click here. And remember, I love getting cards as much as I love sending them. :]

136 E. 8^th St PMB 138

Port Angeles, WA 98362

Don’t worry I haven’t gone all crazy and posted my home address. This is the mailbox we use in town. I guess if someone wanted to they could try and stalk me there, but the lady who works there is really mean. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Two Month Anniversary

Some people might be wondering what I do with all my time now that I'm gainfully unemployed. Well, besides trying to boost the ratings of my favorite tv shows (RIP Lonestar, you'll be dearly missed) I've made it part of my daily routine to enter the contest to win HGTV's Urban Oasis. You better believe I'll be dressed to impress November 20th, should Vern Yip show up on my doorstep to announce me the winner. I wonder if tv watching is better in your own swanky residence at the W in downtown Manhattan? Oh, how I hope to be able to find out the answer to that question! :]

Observations from the Dock of the Bay

~I love that you only have to go a few blocks to end up in a different neighborhood and that each neighborhood has its own identity. Hildoug was bombarded all weekend with the question, “Where are we now?” She politely obliged and showed me where we were on the map. I love me some maps!

~Fleet Week = lots of men in uniform. ‘nuff said.

~Berkeley has a pretty campus, but a crappy stadium. Porta-potties? No thanks, I'll hold it.

~People in San Francisco are really friendly. On different bus rides I had one man offer me a cookie, another offer us a beer, and yet another eavesdrop on our conversation and share his wisdom about how they got the lights on the Capitol Building to change colors and his thoughts about vajazzlers.

~There are lots of hidden jems all over the city. Hildoug took me out for an amazing early birthday dinner at the Tonga Room. It felt like a supper club you’d see in an old black and white movie (the presence of a bunch of Marines in dress blues might have helped that a bit too).

~I like drag queens. I kind of think I might be a drag queen trapped in a straight woman’s body.Big hair, over the top make-up, costumes and lots of sparkles? Sign me up!

~The Golden Gate Bridge is truly gorgeous. We were down in the Marina watching the Blue Angels on a super clear day and it was an amazing back drop.

~People have such pride in and love for their city. It's cool to see.

Nobody puts Tobey in the corner!

I love my car and was happy at the prospect of being able to finally park him in a garage. He's experienced his fair share of trauma over his short three years of life; everything from vicious teenagers wielding keys and Arby's ranch dressing, to West Texas hail. Tobey will have to wear his wounds proudly until I'm able to cough up the casheesh necessary to have him repaired.

He treated me well on the half country drive and I like to give back by trying to keep him as clean as possible inside and out. Unfortunately, nature has other plans.

I couldn't park my car in the garage for the first few days I was here because some stuff had to be moved around. Imagine my surprise when I came out one morning to head into town only to see bird poop all over the passenger side mirror. I gave Tobey a quick bath and went on my way thinking it was a fluke thing. Only to have the same thing happen a few days later. Moving him inside became a top priority then.

Hildoug and I were making a quick stopover at home before heading back into town and I got lazy and parked him in the driveway only to come out to this:

I've decided that all birds are the enemy.....

and will be treated accordingly. Ka ka! Ka ka!